Mummyji is back and Rahul baba got a scolding for playing in the rain and muddying his clothes. She said, "Daagh achhe nahi hain." She was terribly angry and told him that this has happened as he has spoilt relationships with all relatives: elder sister (Behenji Mayawati), elder brother (Anna) and also mom (Amma Jayalalitha). Well, anyway, you can forget behenji and amma. Priyanka and I are good enough. But you should have been careful to keep cordial relations with your only big brother.
She has written back saying she has ordered three lorries of the detergent. Three lorries?? Yes, along with Rahul baba all the ministers in the ruling government have made merry in the rain in her absence. So it’s celebration time for HUL. What with The Gandhi and The Government as the real life ambassadors of their brand?
Now that all the preparations are on at war footing to wash off the slush, Advaniji has decided to call off his rath yatra. He said the need of the hour is to buy some good detergent for my party too. So does HUL has some more reason to rejoice? O no, no Advaniji says. We plan to give P&G some smiles. We’ll use Ariel. Ofcourse we’ll go for the rivals of Surf Excel. But we have another very strong reason to opt for Ariel. Anna’s warrior Kiran Bedi has promoted the brand. This gives us another golden opportunity for us to prove our otherwise doubtful support for Anna’s campaign.
Besides, we also chose Ariel over any other brand because it promises: “Chamak Rakhe Nai Jaise” (Keeps the glow just like new). Well, I want to retain my youthful glow till I realise my dream to be the prime minister of India, says Advaniji. Ariel will help ofcourse. And if it fails, our dear old friend Ram Jethmalani will get back at P&G.
But Advaniji, Mr Jethmalani may take Ariel’s side and help them win the case. He’s a man of high morals you see. He helps those who can’t help themselves and see no support anywhere like the helpless culprits and criminals. So you maybe left in the lurch. O yes that he is and he should be. But he’ll agree to fight this one for us as we’ve already assured him that his black lawyer coat will not be washed with Ariel and it’ll remain black as it is, keeping intact his own identity.
Meanwhile Baba Ramdev has asked his partner Acharya Balkrishna to arrange either Surf Excel or Ariel for both of them. But Acharyaji has reportedly found that both the brands are out of stock due to unusual demand. Only Rin is available. Babaji has refused to buy Rin because it promises to remove yellowness and if that happens, Babaji risks losing his saffron identity. However, Acharyaji has decided to go ahead with Rin on his as-it-is white identity. The angered Babaji has now openly hit out at his erstwhile “media ke bhaiyyon” (brothers in the media). Well, behne (sisters) don’t figure in his lexicon. He says our country’s media should use Rin. They are only promoting yellow journalism these days and they need this desperately.
Coming back to the shortage of other detergents. Do HUL and P&G supply only a handful of these detergents that only a few orders from the government and the opposition should lead to a shortage? Well, not really. This has happened because there’s another lot ordering the stuff, the esteemed inhabitants of Tihar. Though they are only a few out there, they have ordered the largest chunk as they are presently under this typical psychological condition of admission that they are the filthiest among their types.
Considering the arrival of such huge consignment, the security at Tihar has been upped four-folds. However, sources say that this was done after the DG, Tihar, received three emails from an organisation “posing” to be an event management company which has a slogan ‘Have a blast while you last.” And the email text says: “We are coming to your town soon. Order for your blast NOW!!”
But haven’t you investigated the credibility of the company mentioned? Yes, we did that. The company exists very much on paper as well as on ground. But blast is “their” patent. No true son of the soil will promote blasts like this.
Well, only if RAW, IB and our honourable home minister could take a lesson here. Be paranoid. No clue is too few.
